South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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