she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
did i walk over a car last night?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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