honey bunches of taint.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I have aggressive nipples.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Someone stole a lamp last night.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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