my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
