did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Everything about him screamed your future.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
