i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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