Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
