Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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