Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
