i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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