Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
