don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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