shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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