I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
