I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
