I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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