My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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