Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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