i think my tv is drunk
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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