It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
