before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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