Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
