tell your sister to shave her snatch
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she told me i tasted like america
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
