"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
false alarm, still single
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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