We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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