Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
