After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
As shirtless as possible
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
