I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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