i wish starbucks made bloody marys
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
