well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
