The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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