I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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