lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
