it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
