butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
