i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
