His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
