You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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