i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize