There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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