You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
