No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
