life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
