Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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