i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
soo... how was my night?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
