her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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