I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
