2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
