He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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