I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
