If that was your dad, he is hot
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
