You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
