if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
