i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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