the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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