This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
