i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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