you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
