I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You took a bar mat shot.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
