I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
