we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
