Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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